Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
only if we run a train.
done.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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