Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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