I faked an abortion last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
