Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
