You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
