Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
