it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
