I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
