I love black thongs
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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