garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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