foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
