yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
