i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
