This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
