Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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