i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
