I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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