Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
