you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
