We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
