Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize