everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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