this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
