I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
