And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Mom said you looked used
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
