may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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