6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
