Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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