This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
