I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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