Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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