Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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