lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
