wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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