ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
