I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
