Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
