i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
