and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
