Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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