I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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