i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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