We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
