Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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