I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
