Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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