erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
