my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
