so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
