There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
