Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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