If that was your dad, he is hot
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
